When I met and shook hands with President Obama on Friday I introduced myself and said, “my name is Spencer Griffin and I work at collegehumor.com.” He said, “okay, so are you funny?” and I said confidently, “yeah, I’m funny.” And he said, “tell me something funny.” And I blanked. He laughed and said, “yeah, that’s what I thought.” I got roasted by the President of the United States.
little Tsukki and more Tsukkis for his bday!
I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.
(submitted by anonymous)
Haikyuu!! sketches by an animator called Nishin.
I normally don’t post unofficial art from personal twitter accounts anymore but since Nishin made it clear that they joined twitter only for the duration of the anime, I decided to make this now deleted account an exception.
This is most of what I managed to save once I realised Nishin deletes old pics and replaces them with compilations every now and then.
- Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
- Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
- Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
- Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
- Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
- Juliet: That was dumb of you
- Romeo: We should get married right now
- Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
- Romeo: Like tomorrow?
- Juliet: Sure, fine.
- Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
- Romeo: Right.
- Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
- Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
- Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
- Juliet: For fucks sake.